Tell Me Lies [Monologue]

I never thought I’d be here, watching this all fall apart. What happened? Can you honestly tell me how this all happened? I really thought things were fine, but I guess you proved me wrong right? We laughed and hugged. Talked about our dreams, goals, hopes, anything that came to mind. But now I have to question that, question you. Who are you really? Can we just take off these masks and just be ourselves for once? Can I be me and you be you, whoever the hell that is anymore.

You know…I really hate this. Having to pretend like things are fine but I’m not that good of an actress. I’m not a schizoid. I feel this. I feel this pain, betrayal and deceit. I feel it all and nothing can take that away. The looks you throw me with that shy smile hold no warmth anymore. You don’t make me feel the same anymore. How am I supposed to do this best friend crap when I don’t even know the real you. It hurts and I really don’t think you get just how badly this pain sears through our friendship. Sometimes I wish I could just be heartless and forget about this. But I’m not you. I feel way too much for you to ever treat you like this. To make you feel so worthless as to not know the truth.

It was like a punch to the face with brass knuckles on when I found out. Only difference was a punch to the face will heal. I can’t say the same for this. We were supposed to be best friends but you tossed that all aside for a few lies. Is that my worth to you really? Jeopardize our friendship just to keep your little secret safe? Yea…that makes perfect sense because I’m so good at making you feel unaccepted. That’s what makes me livid. Is the fact that you didn’t even give me a chance. Who is the person you told everything to and kept it hidden? That was me…but not with this. I’m not asking you to pour your soul out to me, that’s your soul mates job. But at least love me enough, care about me enough to confess that you messed up. That you broke up this bond. That you pushed our friendship off the cliff into mass destruction. Love me enough to tell me what I already know.

I can’t come to you and ask for information that I know you aren’t willing to share. What sense would that make. I just want things to be normal again, but this isn’t Disneyland. Mickey Mouse won’t wave a wand and fix all of this in a matter of seconds, so I have to wake up and stop dreaming. I’d ask you to be honest with me but I don’t think you know what that is really. So do me this little favor and tell me another lie.