Saving Grace [Poem]

Three year break will be officially over soon! Not now cause it's late and I'm sleepy but stay tuned :]

In the meantime I'll leave you with this poem :]

Saying goodbye is never easy
so they told me. But no one
ever said I'd have to look 
in this mirror...and say goodbye 
to myself. 

She speaks to me from the other
side but dare I answer her?
Answer my past self...

The part of me that is shattered--
trapped in a catacomb of my own
disease. Save me. Who will save
us? 

Time has shown me that we are both
suffering. The past, the present but 
the future? Will there be a future? 

So many questions but we already
know the answer. Save me. I thought I 
needed someone to save me...

but really I have to save myself. 

Updates!!

Hello Everyone ^__________^

Updates!!!

• Still working on getting my new laptop. New laptop means more time for me to write fun stuff for you all. Yay!
• I'm working as a nanny now so look out for some funny stories about the kids I work with. They are TOO funny.
• I hope to have some new blogs up soon :] One for my simming stuff and another for my book, Invisible War.

I think that is all so stay tuned and please keep reading my work :]

-Nik L. B.

Great Expectations [Poem]

Love is a secret
no one ever spoke of,
but somehow it's inside
out hearts.

It fuels our motives,
makes us do the most
outrageous of things.
Makes us kill a stranger
in the dead of night.
Makes us forget
where we came from,
make us pretend
to be people we aren't.

But knowing this all
we still give our hearts
away, let our bodies
be used and out minds
tainted. Not once do
we ask for the secret to
be told, we pretend
we knew all along.

No one ever wants
to know what makes magic
so mysterious, or
find out Santa isn't real.
We need to believe
in fairy tales.

We come into this world
and hope that one day
we will become more then
great expectations.

Here I Am [Poem]

Here we are...
trying to figure
out why love is such
a joke. I thought I
knew once, but you made
everything change.

You loved me
so much I thought
I'd die from your hearts
tight hold on me.
My body is bare with guilt,
knowing I am not
your savoir.

Some say true love
is a blessing, but for us
it's a curse. I've never
felt anything that hurts
this much. I'd climb all
the stars and bring you the moon,
if it meant you'd stay with me.

Write cupid a thousand
letters just so his arrow
would make you mine. I'm
not perfect, but for you
I'll try to be.

Here I am
with my heart inside
of my words, trying to
make sense of this love.

Phenomenon [Poem]

Sunlight dances across
the horizon, morning
chases away the night.
But the memories of 
you, are ever fresh on
my mind. The scent 
of your goodbye
breaks through the
solace of your hello.


I miss everything about 
you, but that will 
never be enough. These
tears cleanse my heart
of its selfishness. You
were never truly mine to have.


You belonged to the stars
and I forgot that--
made you something you 
were never meant to be


my everything.


A gentle rose bursting
from the ground, a comet 
skating through
the sky, a girls first kiss
on prom night.


You were a phenomenon


but somehow you were mine.

Depression Sucks

Depression sucks...that's about all I can really say. I don't write like I use too. Don't paint, haven't played my guitar in ages. My life is pretty much void of anything that really matters -___- Hopefully I will get back in the swing of things and get back to all of you...if you're still reading. -Nik L. B.

Drowning To Be Loved [Poem]

You are everything to me,
words I recite too
often. What do they
mean really? Are you
the wrinkles in my
sheets after a sleepless
night? Are you the heat
from the sun that teases
me on the beach? Are
you my laugh, my
tears, my blood, my
sweat? Better Question--

How could you not be everything?

You're a million years away
but you're still in my thoughts
every second of the present.
A fairy tale romance to
the blind, except I'm the
one without eyes. I gave them
to you hoping you'd see
the love I have for you...

But you feed them
to vultures like
the rest of your regrets.

I put you in bulletproof
glass only for my
soul to be the victim
of this war. Protection,
devotion, some warped
version of admiration...
all things I gave to you
for your deep rejection--

I guess this is what it's like
to drown. Your words,
your face, everything including
you. It's like walking under
a waterfall with my mouth
wide open, waiting to
have my human composition
erased by Earth's natural
cleanser.

These Words [Poem]

I want these words
to wash across me
like cold beads of water
wipe away the horror
of another night spent
alone.

I want these words
to mean something,
like the lingering
beauty of the sun
when it has bide its
goodbye to the sky.

I once wrote of you
but now I can't seem
to remember why...
Why you slept in my hearts
chambers, breathing to
the loud thumping of
my core. I can't write
down these words that use
to come from your mouth.

Simple.
They were simple,
but I can't... won't
remember them.
I need you to come back
and say them how
you use to.

Speak to me like before--
Before your eyes closed
for eternal sleep.
Before the angels sang their
last song for you.
Before...

Before you left me
with these words.

Depressed

I haven't been writing much due to depression. I hope to have some new material for you all soon. Please keep reading and helping me with my dream. If any one needs to reach me or just needs a friend to talk to I have a new email. It's niksaysrawr02@gmail.com. Also I might be making a different blog for the book I've been working on called Blue Eyes. Stay tuned :] *hugs*

-Nik L. B.

Waking Up In Silver

Knowing how lust
and love differ has
somehow planted it's
way into my brain.

It lives now...as all
thoughts do. Darkness
so thick, too heavy
to just push away
from view.

I gave you all
of me and I expected
the same from you...
a mistake of my own
heart.

I never knew you
were a dark cloud
inside my heart until
the day after the tiger
inside of me calmed down to
a gentle sea breeze...

You tainted me...destroyed
me..but like a phoenix I will
rise from the ashes of
my own destruction.

Your absence now
means a silver lining will
reign throughout the
realms of my soul.

I am free of you now. 

My Hero [Poem]

I wrote this for someone very dear to my heart that was sadly taken from me. RIP angel...they'll never be another like you.

Childhood--
She knew no meaning
of the word, she came
into this world as a
woman. A dark cloud
forever blocking her
blue skyline...
I dare that darkness
to touch the beauty of
her dream like eyes

Agony so thick that
the air is suffocating...
Heavy with sorrow her
soul hangs low if only
she knew what I know.
If only she knew that
I would carry her burdens,
cry her tears, scream her
nightmares.

she never let me see her cry...

Warrior... always
ready for the battle
of life. But she was
never cold, never bitter.
I'm bitter as I move
dead flowers from
this grave. I'm bitter
as I read this name
engraved in stone. I'm
bitter as I cough out
another silent scream.

I was never ready for
this battle... I can
never let go. So many
names come to mind
when I think of you.
My friend, an angel, a
fighter, but you're so
much more.

Life got the best of you
but you're still my hero.

-For Carol. 

I'M BACK!!!

I haven't been writing very much but I have returned :] Hope you are all still out there reading lol :]

I'll be back soon with some new stuff for all you lovely people to read.

I just got a Skype if anyone would like to add me. All I ask is that you tell me who you are when you add me lol
it's "nerdynik" Because you all know...I'm a nerd and my name is Nik :]

Later lovelys

-Nik L. B.

NEW STUFF COMING SOON!!

Hello!! :]

I've had writer's block for like ever, this is why I haven't been posting like I normally do. I will try my hardest to get some ne stuff to you lovely people. I've been looking for new talent to post as well. So if anyone has some awesome talent or knows someone with awesome talent please and I do mean please contact me. I will post my contact info at the end of this message. Please if you like my work, let me know :] it really helps to know that people like or can relate to my stuff. Anywho just wanted to let everyone know what's up. <3 RAWR!!!!

Email - shanikbrooks@yahoo.com
Facebook - Nik L. Brooks


-Nik L. B.

P.S. Insomnia is not fun :/

Black. Blue. White. [Poem]

How did I get here?
My lungs collapsed with
blood, my stomach full
of teeth, my face imprinted
with scars. You hit me--
Punches fly faster than
jet planes across a
bomb stricken sky.
This floor becomes
my safe haven, these arms
[my arms] will protect me
...for now.
Black.

How did I get here?
My breath asphyxiated
as life personifies a dream,
the pain swims through
my vein making these
bruises break into
vision. You're choking me--
Today jumps through tomorrow
holding me in last nights
torture again. My fingers
are numb as I try to
scratch a hole, an abyss,
something to wake me up
from this sea of
soreness.
Blue.

How did I get here?
My body painted like
a portrait I didn't
sign up to take. Perfectly
ruined down to my
chalky bones. This
bottle licking at my
throat. You cut me--
Words escape me like
a prisoner learning that
freedom is a fictitious
thought used only to
avoid suicide. Rigor mortis
finds me under vodka
laced glass specks, a woman
appears screaming my name,
senses terminated but the soul
lives on to tell my story.
White.

*No matter what stage abuse is never okay. There are people fighting and people that can no longer fight. I want to make sure their voices are heard.*